


Myosotis scorpioides

by Cyane (orphan_account)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depressed Sans, Depression, F/F, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Frisk, Look at all those Sans tags, Nightmares, Pacifist Frisk, Poor Sans, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Protective Papyrus, Sans Needs A Hug, Sans Remembers Resets, Selectively Mute Frisk, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 09:31:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10461684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Cyane
Summary: The world goes on. The monsters are freed from the Underground. Humans and Monsters live on, peacefully. Papyrus is happy, Undyne and Alphys got together... Frisk and Toriel are family. Everything is good. Everyone is happy.Except for Sans, who is crumbling to pieces.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Because really, I need more nightmare-plagued Sans. PTSD. C'mon, this guy has been stuck in time loops, been forced to watch genocide, been killed over and over again, watched his brother died, seen the surface and have it snatched away.
> 
> that's gon' leave some mental scarring yo

When Sans opened his eyes, he was back in the Underground. Back in the snow, in Snowdin, watching a shadow approach through the everlasting blizzard.

"Frisk?" He asked, slurred. The figure continued walking towards him. After a moment, the outline grew less fuzzy and the outline of a knife was easy to identify. Sans' eyes widened as he took in the familiar silhouette. 

Not Frisk. _Chara_.

His feet were rooted into the snow, as much as he tried to run. As hard as he pulled, he could not move. Chara approached, taking their sweet time. 

"Well, hello, Sans. Funny, seeing you here."

Sans felt his face twist into a snarl. "You fucking monster- you promised you wouldn't reset, we were _out_ , we were on the surface!" They didn't react, just smiled a bit and continued moving towards him. As they approached, Sans saw the red scarf they'd wrapped around their own neck. Parts of it were dotted in snow, parts of it were speckled with dust. 

Chara shrugged. "Actually, _you're_ the monster."

"When does it end?!" Sans challenged. "Eventually you'll get bored here, too. There's only so many different outcomes. Sooner or later you'll have to let time pass, you'll want to see what comes next, if we actually make it out."

They didn't look remotely phased. "No, Sansy, there _were_ only so many different outcomes, but you? You're a mystery. You're a variable that changes with every reset, I never know what you're going to do and therefore _I'll never get bored_."

Sans didn't know why he did it. After everything, he'd always been able to keep his determination up; because he did have determination, or else he wouldn't be here still. But suddenly everything felt like it was pushing down on him; every reset, every death he'd witnessed, every death he'd experienced- and he broke down on the spot.

Fell to his knees and started sobbing. 

Just yesterday, just _minutes_ ago, he had been on the surface with Papyrus, and everything had been good. Frisk had promised not to reset again. Everyone had been happy, but it had been snatched away in seconds. Now, Papyrus was dead once-fucking-again, and Chara was back. 

It never ended. 

"Please, stop, please, just-" He begged, feeling his eye sockets sting. He was so fucking tired. Tired of resets, tired of being the only one besides the kid who remembered everything he'd gone through. 

The knife shot out, and he didn't bother moving. Chara cut through his chest, through his soul, and that was it. Pain, pain, painpainpain _painpainpain_ -

"SANS!"

Sans lurched forwards, screaming and clutching at his nightshirt, eye illuminated with magic, skull pounding.

"SANS, IT'S ME, WHAT'S GOING ON?"

Papryus's voice. That was his brother, he was alive-

Sans took a strangled breath before finally calming down. Once his vision cleared and his eye stopped flaming blue, he looked around. He was in his new bed, in his and Papyrus's new home on the surface. It was all just a nightmare, a memory, perhaps. 

Papyrus was leaning over him, looking terrified. 

"Oh, hey, Paps," Sans sighed, stretching out his smile. Apparently it looked about as real as it was, because Papyrus didn't look relieved in the slightest. 

"SANS... WERE YOU HAVING A NIGHTMARE?"

"Uh... I don't really remember." Sans scratched the back of his neck. "You're the one who looks like they've seen a ghost- or, should I say- a skeleton."

When Papyrus didn't even acknowledge the terrible joke, Sans knew there was no getting out of this. His brother was frowning deeply, teeth grinding together anxiously. "SANS, YOU WERE SCREAMING... YOU WERE- YOU WERE SAYING, BEGGING FOR SOMEONE TO 'STOP'..." 

Sans winced. "Eh, I don't remember. Must've been a crazy dream, if it's rattled your bones that much."

Two could play at this game. Papyrus wanted to talk about it, Sans wanted to deny it. And when Sans didn't want to talk, he _wasn't going to talk_. Papyrus, having known this as a fact for many years, sighed and stood up. 

"WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SPAGHETTI?" He asked hesitantly. 

"What time is it?" 

"TWO THIRTY-FIVE IN THE MORNING, BROTHER! BUT THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR SPAGHETTI!" That was the usual fiery Papyrus. Sans grinned, this time it was genuine. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry if I woke ya' up, bro."

"THAT'S QUITE ALRIGHT! I OFTEN FIND MYSELF IN NEED OF NIGHT-TIME SPAGHETTI." 

Sans slowly edged off of his bed, feeling awareness and relief slowly draining back into his bones. _You're on the surface, the kid kept their promise, everything is okay,_ he thought to himself, following Papyrus downstairs for food. 

 

\--

 

"Sans, are y-you f-feeling alright?" 

Sans continued staring blankly at the plate in front of him, his thoughts swimming to the nightmare last night. He vacantly wondered if he'd continue living, consumed by anxiety. Wondering if every day would be his last on the surface. Wondering, at every second of every day, if the kid would get bored and hit that reset button. 

In seconds, he could be back in Snowdin, or standing next to Chara in the last corridor. Looking at Papyrus's dust. Dying over and over and over and over-

"Sans? Sans!" Undyne yelled, waving a hand in front of Sans's face. He jumped back, sucking in a breath as he was brought back to the present. 

Undyne, Alphys, Papyrus, and Frisk's worried faces stared back at him. He shook his head. "Sorry, what was it? I'm bone-tired." Undyne groaned loudly at the pun, but the others remained suspiciously quiet. Sans noticed Frisk looked guilty. 

"S-Sans, I asked if you were feeling o-okay," Alphys repeated from one end of the table, setting down her fork. "You've j-just been really quiet all this t-time, uh... y-yeah, um." 

"HE HAD A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT," Papyrus commented suddenly. 

Sans whirled his head around, irritated Papyrus had shared that with _everyone_. "Yeah, I don't think that's any of their business, really, Paps. Kinda personal." Frisk looked miserable.

"We're your friends, Sans," Undyne said seriously. "And if you're having it rough, it's our job to fuckin' be there for you, so shut the hell up and tell us what's going on." That was typical Undyne, and Alphys looked apologetic on her behalf for being so straightforward. 

"Sorry," Sans responded, smirking. "I guess I don't have the guts to tell you guys about it..."

"SANS, ENOUGH WITH THESE HORRIBLE PUNS! THEY AREN'T EVEN-"

"Humerus?" 

And then Frisk doubled over in silent laughter, and the serious atmosphere immediately fell away. They all broke into laughter, and Papyrus even let out a defeated, amused groan. It seemed the subject of Sans's nightmare had been forgotten. 

 

\--

 

Afterwards, Sans left the others to go fight about which TV show to watch. He stayed in the kitchen to discretely get rid of the leftover Spaghetti. (All of it.) He wasn't feeling particularly hungry, especially with anxiety gnawing at his soul. 

Sans knew Frisk wasn't Chara. Maybe Chara was Frisk, in a way, but Frisk wasn't Chara. Still, having that- that... kid, thing- in the house, knowing at any time, they could send everything back, commit genocide... as many times as they wanted.

He slowly slid off of the chair, carrying his full plate to the trash. He was in the middle of scraping it down when there was a thud from behind him and he felt his soul just flutter for a moment in horror.

Flinching back, Sans only caught his breath when he saw it was just Frisk, standing in the door frame. They had the same guilty expression. 

***Sans, it's just me.**

"I know, kid. Sorry, I'm just- ah, jumpy."

Frisk walked further into the kitchen. ***They're arguing over the MTT recordings.** And, hey, Sans could try to be conversational. He chuckled. "I bet they are, kiddo. Kinda cool Mettaton is so popular on the surface, too."

Awkward silence fell and Sans inwardly cringed. He didn't _want_ to get nervous around Frisk. 

***Did you eat anything?**

Damn. Sans plastered on a wide grin. "Earlier this morning. I guess I just don't have the stomach for any more spaghetti." It wasn't a lie, not really. He'd eaten spaghetti after waking up from the nightmare. More than ten hours ago, but, hey, who was counting? 

Frisk rolled their eyes at the pun, but sat down on one of the chairs. ***Was your... nightmare about me?** They asked quietly. Sans let out a little sigh. He didn't want Frisk to blame themselves- it was really only his fault, his fault and Chara's fault, and _Frisk was not Chara_ , as he had to keep reminding himself. 

"It's not your fault, Frisk," He started. "It'll take some time to adjust to the surface. Just bad memories, 's all. Forgettaboutit." 

***It's been months, though,** Frisk wailed, burying their head in their arms. ***I can't stand it when you're suffering because of me.**

"It wasn't you!" Sans protested quickly. "Kid, that was Cha-ugh, that was someone else. Not you, ya' hear? Sure, I'm going through some crap, but we're all getting used to changes. You're the one who got possessed, not me- I should be making sure you're okay."

Frisk didn't look amused. ***I've got support from everyone, but you won't tell anyone how you're doing. Papyrus doesn't even know you remember resets!**

It was true. After they reached the surface, Frisk, Alphys, and Sans had explained to everyone about 'resets' and what they did. Save points. That was when Frisk promised to never touch the reset button again, and that's when Sans's anxiety and relief intermingled. Relief at the promise, anxiety at the thought of it being broken. 

Papyrus had been horrified at the explanation of Chara and Frisk being possessed, and having died in other timelines. When Sans had seen his brother's expression, he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone that he still remembered each and every one of the resets, the genocides, the deaths. Frisk had asked him why he hadn't told any of the others, but Sans just said it hadn't been necessary. 

Living through the resets was something Sans had to do by himself- facing either Chara or Frisk- with nobody else's help. Meddling with time was disastrous, no matter how you turned it. He just wanted it to be _over_.

"He doesn't need to know, kiddo. Now let's go watch some Mettaton, yeah?" Sans said, changing the subject quickly. He ushered Frisk out of the kitchen and they walked back into the living room with the others. 

Papyrus was fiddling with the TV remote while Undyne peppered Alphys's face with kisses, and the scientist was blushing everywhere, trying to edge away from her girlfriend. Sans laughed out loud at the sight, but raised one hand to shield Frisk's eyes from the sight. They glared at him, trying to view the couple. 

This was nice. Sans smiled at the situation. A group of friends. Alphys and Undyne- oh, _shit_ -

The thought suddenly hit him: if Frisk ever did reset, Alphys and Undyne might never get together, might never confess; might die before they can, oh- fuck- fuck- that was not a good thought, and anxiety bubbled in Sans's soul as he drank in the happy scene. 

What was the point of going through the good to have it ripped away? Why should he bother making this timeline good when it would all be for nothing?

Frisk seemed to notice his smile loose it's authenticity. They took his hand in their own. ***Please talk to someone,** they said quietly. Sans nodded to reassure them. 

"I'm cool, Frisk. Got chills down my spine. Let's go have a good time."

They walked to the couch and sat down, and Sans tried to quell his thoughts going down dark paths. Tried to zone out as they watched Mettaton dance. There was no getting away from the feeling of the rug, though- the metaphorical rug underneath Sans that he knew would be ripped out some day. 

The rug was beautiful, intricate, it was personal. Full of good memories, and hardship, and everything they'd gone through-

Sans clutched to that metaphorical rug and prayed that he could hold onto it for just a little longer.

 

\--

 

"Let's go, you dirty fuckin' brother killin' monster!" Sans snarled, raising a hand to attack. 

Chara burst into laughter, changing from hysterical to maniacal, and Sans swore he heard Flowey in there, the high pitched squealing of something evil and unnatural. "Ha! You think you can get a hit on me? You think 'I'm just gonna stand there and take it'?!" Chara ran their tongue down the side of the knife, setting Sans's spine on edge. 

But something flashed through the skeleton's head, and then-

"This isn't real," Sans realized, lowering his hand. 

Chara's eyes widened. "What, you think I'm not real? I'm hurt, Sansy, that you'd even think that. Have you forgotten our little midnight rendezvous?"

Sans shook his head, feeling his knees go weak. No- this time, he remembered. This happened every night, this wasn't real, he was just dreaming. He wasn't really here, he had made it to the surface, and Papyrus was safe, and the barrier was broken and everything was okay.

He let a relieved grin fall across his face. Slightly smug. "I'm dreaming, Chara, you can't hurt me."

Chara smiled with razor-sharp teeth. The smile continued, stretching unnaturally to their ears. The sight made Sans gag as he saw the soulless eyes, the too-wide smile, the blood running down the slit they'd made in their own tongue. 

"Ooh, Sansy thinks he's figured it out!" They croon. There is an ear-shatteringly high-pitched noise behind it, making Sans's skull throb. Chara continued. "Well, I hate to tell you this, Sans, but I'm real."

"This is a dream," Sans repeated.

"How does that change anything? Just because you're dreaming doesn't make any of this any less real," Chara drawled. "Maybe it's happening. Maybe it's _already_ happened. Maybe it's _going to happen_. You think I can't hurt you?!"

Sans took a step back, feeling all semblance of calm wash away. 

And then Chara morphed- the smile faded, the eyes narrowed, the hair ruffled, and it wasn't Chara's demonic eyes staring back at him, it was Frisk. It was Frisk and it made it even more terrible to look at- because Sans looked at Frisk and Frisk was still holding the knife, still aimed to kill.

 ***I am Chara.**

Sans shook his head in disbelief. "You're Frisk- I know you're in there, kiddo. You're not Frisk-"

He didn't finish his sentence as they raked the knife across his soul.

Sans gasped awake, immediately throwing a hand across his mouth to cut off any loud screams. He bit down on his finger- hard. It didn't feel like a nightmare. It felt real, but the moment they kill him, he goes back. Does that mean it never happened? Does that mean it's a memory, or a prophecy?

How can it only be a nightmare?

Sans curled in on himself, feeling the tears well in his eye sockets. 

He was so, so very tired.

 

\--

 

"HOW WAS YOUR SLEEP, BROTHER? DID YOU HAVE ANY NIGHTMARES?"

"Nope, nothin'. Best sleep I've had in a while," Sans replied with a grin. He ate as much spaghetti as he physically was able to without actually vomiting it back up, which pleased Papyrus. 

"I AM DELIGHTED TO HEAR THAT, SANS! I HAD A RATHER STRANGE DREAM LAST NIGHT. WE WERE WALKING THROUGH SNOWDIN, BUT ALL THE SNOW HAD TURNED INTO PARMESAN CHEESE, AND THE GROUND WAS COMPLETELY MADE OF SPAGHETTI."

Sans winked at him. "Probably on account of the fact that we eat Spaghetti literally every day."

"DO NOT JOKE, SANS! THIS DREAM MEANT SOMETHING!"

"I'm not jokin'," Sans muttered under his breath, amused. "I'm wondering if I should sneak off to Undyne's to get something different. Too much is too much, bro."

Papyrus pouted for a moment before raising a hand in triumph. "BRILLIANT IDEA, SANS! WE SHALL GO TO UNDYNE'S HOUSE TO SHARE THE SPAGHETTI WITH HER. I EXPECT SHE WILL FIND MY COOKING SKILLS TO HAVE A SOPHISTICATED TASTE! IT WILL BE SO POPULAR!" 

Well, that was one way to put it. Sans let himself show a tired smile. 

He'd gotten an hour of sleep last night. Four hours in the last week. Sometime he'd crash. 

 

\--

 

The next time Sans woke up, he wasn't in his bed, he was on Undyne's couch. 

"What the...?"

He blearily blinked his eyes open, and saw Undyne and Papyrus stirring a metal pot vigorously at the stove-top. Alphys was sitting next to him on the couch, engrossed in her phone. In front of him sat Frisk, cross-legged and staring at him with wide, sympathetic eyes.

 ***You fell asleep an hour ago** , Frisk explained. ***Papyrus and Undyne are making lunch.**

Alphys heard them talk and turned her head away from her phone, eyes brightening at the sight of Sans awake. "Oh, h-hey, Sans! How are you f-f-feeling? You looked pretty sick earlier."

"How did I get here?" Sans grunted out, sitting up. 

The yellow monster frowned in confusion. "You... y-you don't remember? This morning you and Papyrus came o-over with spaghetti, and Undyne a-ate it all, so now they're making more s-so we can eat, too."

Sans did not remember coming over to Undyne's house. Shit.

"You conked out p-pretty quickly after you a-arrived. Did you have n-nightmares again or something?" Alphys sounded more hesitant than usual when she mentioned the subject of Sans's nightmares, but he quickly shook his head.

"Nah... I'm just..."

"A-are you sick?"

Sans smirked at the opportunity to throw in a deflective pun. "What, you think I've got a femur?"

Frisk silently groaned. ***That was a long shot, Sans.**

"A... a f-femur?" Alphys asked. "Femur... oh! Like, a fever. Y-yeah, that wasn't your b-best," She giggled. 

Well, Sans wasn't at his best, either, so he figured it made sense. The skeleton sat up all the way, rubbing at his eye sockets. "Either way, I'm not sick, so. Just a lazybones who likes to sleep the day away. No work for this skeleton."

That's when Sans heard the laughter going on behind him. He swung around, half-expecting to see Chara, but when his eyes landed on Toriel, he relaxed. She seemed to still be laughing at the pun. 

"That was quite good!" Toriel finally managed to say between laughs. 

Sans had forgotten how much she liked his jokes. He smiled at the lady. "You wanna hear another one?" When Toriel nodded, he continued. "Okay, okay: what's a skeleton's favorite light source?"

From the stove, Papyrus gave a dramatic groan. "I ALREADY KNOW THIS ONE, SANS!"

Toriel looked thoughtful. "A lamp?" She asked. 

Sans shook his head. "No- a _shin_ delier."

The goat-woman let out another hearty laugh that made Sans's chest feel lighter. "Oh- oh, my-" She struggled to form words though the laughter. "That was a good one, oh, let me tell you one- ha, ha, let me tell one!" 

Sans grinned widely. "Go for it."

"In these human art museums, what was the skeleton's favorite type of artwork?"

Immediately, Sans knew the answer, but for Toriel's sake he remained willfully oblivious. "I don't know, what is it?"

"T-the Skull-ptures!"

Everyone except for Papyrus cracked out laughing, and Sans had to admit, that was a good one. Puns were a distraction. His laughter died down and he looked at Frisk. The kid was rolling on the floor, laughing- but it didn't sound like Flowey or Chara.

Frisk was silent, like always.

Somehow that was comforting.

 

\--

 

"Hey, Paps?" 

"YES?"

Sans fumbled with a string on his shirt for a moment. "You remember when we told you about resets, don't you?" 

Papyrus nodded, slowly. "OF COURSE I DO. FRISK... AND, ER, CHARA HAD THE ABILITY TO RESET TIME, YES? GO BACK, AND CHANGE THINGS."

Honestly, Sans wasn't sure where he was going with this. "Yeah, that's right." He figured it wouldn't matter, if he told Papyrus or not, given that sooner than not this whole timeline would be erased, and Sans would go back, and everything would go back into the same loop. He might as well explain. "Chara possessed Frisk's soul, happened on genocide routes. And when Frisk was in charge, they tried out being a pacifist, they saw what happened when they weren't."

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING THIS TO ME AGAIN, SANS?" 

"Ugh, I dunno. Just- have you ever... remembered a past timeline?"

Papyrus paused. He raised a hand to his chin, thinking. "I DON'T THINK SO. SOMETIMES I FEEL AS THOUGH I'VE BEEN SOMETHING BEFORE, THOUGH ALPHYS TELLS ME EVERYONE HAS THAT... UM, JEGO VUE?"

"Déjà vu," Sans corrects absentmindedly. "But this is difference. I mean- yeah, they're similar, but like... you ever remember something? Full on remember an entire memory that didn't happen to _you_ specifically, just... another version of you? Like memories you have, but they never happened to you?"

His brother blinked before sitting down next to Sans. Papyrus had an air of seriousness to him.

"NO. HAS IT HAPPENED TO YOU?" 

This was his moment, to confess, to tell Papyrus; _yes, all the time, I live with memories of every timeline, every existence and death, I know what death feels like and I know what loosing everyone else feels like, I see them everywhere, I'm terrified that they'll be back, that nothing is real, or worth being real-_

"Nah."

Papyrus was silent for a moment. "SANS, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? EVER SINCE WE'VE REACHED THE SURFACE, YOU'RE... YOU'RE HURTING, BROTHER, AND-"

"Bro, there's no need to worry about me. In the end, it doesn't really matter if you worry about me or not, so just take the time to make this timeline the best one you can have." Then Sans felt his chest start to hurt, and he quickly excused himself with a grim smile.

 

\--

 

"Oh, hey, Alphys. Have a _bone_ to pick with me? What can I do for ya?" Sans asked, surprised to see the scientist at his bedroom door. 

She flushed. "Nothing! Um... P-Papyrus let me in, obviously, I-I just wanted to talk to you, if that's o-okay?"

Sans shrugged. "Sure. Come on in, ignore the socks on the floor."

They walked in together. Sans flopped on his bed, motioning for Alphys to sit wherever she'd like. She cautiously sat down on the edge of the bed, wringing her wrist with her hands nervously. 

"So?"

Alphys took a deep breath. "Papyrus is worried a-about you, Sans. Frankly, so am I, and s-so is Frisk, a-and everyone. It's obvious you haven't been getting any s-sleep, and you barely eat, y-you're t-terrified of Frisk, you zone out..."

Sans exhaled slowly. He remained silent, letting his eye sockets completely darken.

"What's going on, Sans?" 

Alphys's voice didn't waver, that time. Her voice was... well, determined, for lack of a better word. Sans looked up.

"You know about the timelines. The resets, _Chara_."

Alphys nodded. "Is that what's k-keeping you up? You're worried C-Chara will... what, come b-back? I don't mean to be i-insensitive, Sans, b-but... if Frisk _was_ going to r-reset, then we would've already f-forgotten, which I know isn't really reassuring, but... we w-wouldn't know. So t-this has to be the last t-timeline, if that m-makes sense. At least, it has to f-for us."

Sans wanted to cry. God, he wanted to scream. Because he couldn't talk to anyone but Frisk about this. Everyone else had already forgotten- and they'd forget again, this conversation would be lost in time, and he'd have to repeat everything to get the same... it was pointless. Everything was pointless. There was literally no point to explaining. 

"No." His voice was barely a whisper. 

Alphys blinked in surprise. "What do you mean, n-'no'?" 

Sans sat up and put his skull in his hands, trying to relieve the pressure from the stress, the anxiety, the depression, the feeling of hopelessness. "I don't forget, don't you get it?" He looked up at the scientist with tears dripping out of his eye sockets. "I remember _every fucking timeline_ ," He snarled. "I remember Chara, I remember Frisk, I remember getting stabbed and burned and broken over and _over and over_ , I remember Chara smashing Papyrus's skull in with their foot, I remember every timeline we made it past the surface, I remember having it snatched away, waking up in Snowdin or in the last corridor, I've died _so many times_ , Alphys."

She let out a hushed, "O-o-oh my g-god..."

He took a deep breath, not meeting Alphys's gaze. "I remember _everything_ , Alphys, and it's not pretty. Genocide. You've died, and Undyne has died, and Chara has literally sliced Toriel to shreds. I know how it feels to die. I know how it feels to loose your brother a thousand times over, and I know how it feels to have your soul ripped out- I know how it feels to kill, over and over again, but they just keep resetting and I can't take it forever, and I just keep living and dying and nothing changes."

Sans was trembling at his point, sobbing into his own hands, shaking violently, bones chattering together angrily. 

"But _you_ won't remember. Any of this, we'll just reset again, and I'll remember what it's like to live happily on the surface, and I'll remember what it's like to have that snatched away. And nobody else will, except for Frisk, but who knows if they're Frisk, or if they're Chara. It's an infinate loop, Alphys. I am in every timeline, and I remember every single _fucking_ thing."

By the time he's finished, his voice is a hoarse whisper, a broken mess of words. 

Then there's a hand on his shoulder, and it's not Alphys's scaly hand, it's a set of phalanges. Sans looks up and it's Papyrus, holding onto his shoulder, and Alphys rubbing his back, and then Sans just completely breaks down.

It's too much. He can't take it, he can't take it. 

Sans lets out a broken sob. "I can't do this anymore," He whispers. "I don't want to go back, I just want this to be over, please, oh _god let it be over_ -"

"I'm not letting you go, brother," Papyrus says, and that's the quietest Sans has ever heard his brother. Papyrus leans forward and rests his skull on Sans's, bringing him into a hug. From his right, Alphys is doing the same. It's safe and it's warm.

And someday, it'll just be a memory that doesn't belong to him. 

"I wish I could die," Sans chokes out. 

Beside him, both Papyrus and Alphys make strangled noises, but they don't stop hugging him and he finally slumps into the embrace until he's too exhausted to do anything except sleep.

 

\--

 

Sans wakes up an hour later, shaking out of a nightmare, gasping for breath. Almost immediately afterward, he feels a hand rest on his arm.

"GO BACK TO SLEEP, IT'S ALRIGHT. JUST GET SOME REST, IT'S JUST A DREAM, SANS."

Sans is too tired to argue. He sleeps. For the remainder of the night, Chara is far, far away from his dreams. He dreams of the blissful nothingness. For a while, Sans thinks he might be dead. For a while, Sans thinks he might be free.

 

\--

 

Of course, he's not free.

Sans figures this out when he wakes up ten hours later, tensing before he relaxes into his blue comforter. "What the fuck?" He mumbles, because- seriously, what the _fuck_ \- that's the best sleep he's gotten in years. In a lifetime, really. 

No Chara, no death, no pain. No waking up screaming, or crying, or shaking. 

It's not even dark outside. In fact...

Sans grunts as he stands up and looks out the window. It's midday. The clock on the wall reads just past noon. 

That's when he remembers everything that had happened yesterday. Alphys had come by, and he had snapped. And then, he had explained everything he had gone through, and Papyrus had heard him... shit. Sans hated when he snapped. He liked seeming predictable, liked seeming cool-tempered. He wanted to appear as the big-boned idiot who told a lotta' puns and smiled at anything that came his way.

"I guess it'll be reset in a while, anyway..." Sans told himself, forcing himself to go downstairs. 

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he smelled spaghetti. Oddly reassuring spaghetti. (And Sans would be damned if he let spaghetti be his tether to reality, so he stopped thinking like that immediately.)

"GOOD MORNING, SANS," Papyrus said from the kitchen. 

Like nothing had ever happened. Again; oddly reassuring. And it made Sans uneasy because that meant this could get unpredictable quickly.

"Heyo. You cook too much," Sans replied as way of greeting. 

"I COOK TOO MUCH?" Papyrus sounded scandalized. "YOU CAN NEVER COOK ENOUGH SPAGHETTI, ESPECIALLY THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S SPAGHETTI!"

Sans grinned. It was a real grin. Hell, he had vented for five minutes the other day and he felt like a million-pound weight was released from his back. There was something lighter, something... he didn't have to keep as many secrets, now. 

(Well, for now, seeing as the reset would be coming any day.)

"HOW DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT? YOU WERE OUT FOR OVER TEN HOURS, SANS."

"I slept... good." It was strange because he _had_. No lies. It had been the best sleep of his life. 

Papyrus sent him a knowing grin, then motioned to the living room with a wooden spoon. "GLAD TO HEAR IT! ALPHYS, UNDYNE, AND FRISK ARE IN THE LIVING ROOM." His brother mentioned it so casually that Sans nearly choked on the piece of spaghetti he'd snatched from the pot. 

"Wait- what?" Sans sputtered, turning to loos at the three visitors sitting on the couch, chatting absently. "Did... did you... tell them? Anything?" 

His brother sighed. "ONLY ALPHYS AND I KNOW, SANS. BUT WE ARE GOING TO DISCUSS IT OVER SPAGHETTI. IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, BUT WE NEED TO MAKE SURE WE TALK ABOUT THIS WITH FRISK, AND UDYNE SHOULDN'T BE LEFT OUT OF SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT."

"It's not _that_ important," Sans said. 

"YOU'RE HURTING; OF COURSE IT'S IMPORTANT, YOU LAZYBONES!" Papyrus scolded, tapping him lightly on the skull with the spoon. 

Sans scoffed out a weak laugh, but started towards the couch anyway. It couldn't be that bad- Frisk already knew, and the only person who would be finding out would be Undyne. If he was lucky, he could distract them with some puns, turn on the TV, and then slink away when they were caught up with Mettaton's new show. 

"Hey, guys," He said.

Alphys's head shot up from her phone and she let a nervous smile slowly creep across her face. "Morning, Sans. H-how are you?"

"Great."

Frisk wasn't meeting his gaze. Sans decided he'd rather leave it like that then get into a conversation about _why_ they weren't talking. He just wanted everything to go back to normal. There wasn't a need to talk about anything. 

"What're you reading?" He asked calmly, sitting on the arm of the couch so he could peer over Alphys's shoulder. She immediately covered her phone, going crimson in the face. 

"N-nothing!" She said quickly. "Um... y-yes! It's n-n-nothing!"

Undyne groaned. "She won't let anyone else read it. It's called fanfriction. She writes it, too. Super nerdy, but it's about anime, so it's FUCKIN' AWESOME!" Undyne screamed the last bit, to Alphys's horror. 

"It's fan _fiction_ , and it's a public sharing of written fiction based around characters and fandoms that already exist and using creative licencing," Alphys explained sheepishly. "I read i-it sometimes," She added, her voice going into the usual stutter as she stopped talking about it. 

"Cool," Sans replied. It sounded like something people would write when they weren't creative enough, but who was he to judge? 

At that moment, he was struck by just how relaxed he felt, how happy he was. Alphys going on about some nerdy jazz, Undyne ultimately teasing her for it. Papyrus, in the kitchen, making spaghetti. 

Speak of the skeleton and he shall arrive. 

Papyrus walked in with about twelve plates too-many piled with spaghetti. After passing them out, he sat down resolutely next to Frisk and the chatter died down. "ALRIGHT... SANS, WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN, OR DO YOU WANT ALPHYS TO?"

Sans shrugged. "There's not a lotta' explaing to do, Paps."

"I'LL TAKE THAT AS A NO TO THE FIRST OPTION," Papyrus drawled. "ALPHYS, PLEASE EXPLAIN."

The scientist took a deep breath. "Alright, um... we a-all know about timelines a-and r-resets, correct?"

Everyone nodded, with the exception of Sans, who had resigned himself to keeping his head down like Frisk was doing. Alphys continued.

"As far as we knew, Frisk and C-Chara were the only ones w-who could remember r-resets. R-remember things that happened in o-other timelines. They're the only ones who can actually reset a t-timeline, but... apparently Sans remembers w-what happens. He's lived through e-every timeline so far."

Undyne looked shocked. "Even... what about the genocide runs?!" 

"T-those too," Alphys said quietly. "Every d-death, every moment, e-everything... oh my god, Sans, I'm s-so sorry..."

There was a long moment of silence before Sans spoke up.

"I don't know if this is worth saying. Because for me, any second could be my last with you. Maybe it'll be now. Maybe it'll be in five minutes. Maybe it'll be in five years. I have no fucking idea how long I have in each timeline because they just keep resetting." His voice sounds dull.

"And Frisk- dammit, I know you aren't Chara- but I know that you've got the power to seriously fuck with timelines, and if you get bored, or you want to change something, it'll reset. Nobody else remembers except for us. And if you reset, Chara can possess you, the moment you do. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. But if they do, it'll turn into genocide for humans and monsters. I'm tired of fighting. I've been fighting my whole life."

Sans turns to Papyrus. "I can't watch you die anymore. I can't die again just to come back, I'm so sick of living like this, and every day just turns into anxiety about _how much time do I have left_?! I don't know. I don't know if I'll even finish this conversation. The fact that at any moment, everything we've worked on for the past year- this whole timeline- the fact that it can be erased in seconds, and all of you will just forget about everything that's ever happened in the past year..."

 ***I'm sorry, Sans,** Frisk said. 

Everyone turned to look at them. They finally looked up. Tears were muddling in with their face. ***Chara was the one who committed genocide, sure, but I also had resets. I got bored, I wanted to see what would happen 'if'. It took me a while to figure out you remembered, but when I found out...**

"You stopped doing it," Sans cut in sharply. "The moment you found out I remembered timelines, you stopped doing it. And I can't thank you enough for that, kiddo. But Chara kept going, and if Chara-" He broke off sharply. "If... if Chara comes back..."

***They won't.**

Sans looked up. "Kid, you can't promise that. I don't blame you, I just don't want to go through a reset again."

Frisk shook their head. ***No, I won't let Chara come back because I'm going to get rid of resets for good.**

That made everyone's heads shoot up in surprise. Alphys's brow furrowed like she was doing mental calculations. Undyne grinned at the prospect of 'getting rid of'. Papyrus smiled like he knew this had been coming. 

"FRISK AND I HAVE AN IDEA!" He piped up, shoving another forkfull of spaghetti into his mouth. "WELL, REALLY, FRISK HAD AN IDEA. BUT THEY TOLD ME ABOUT IT FIRST!"

***If Undyne lends me a spear, I'll go to the reset page and destroy it. I know it can be done- Asgore has destroyed my ability to give Mercy before.**

"B-but that m-means you'll h-have to... actually, you know.. _go_ to the reset. And if s-something goes wrong, you could start a n-new timeline!" Alphys said quickly, typing something into her phone. "I h-haven't done any calculations, oh god- this c-could go so wrong!" 

Sans stiffened at the thought of a new timeline. 

"Is there a chance it'll work?" He asked.

Frisk nodded solemnly. ***I've put you through enough, Sans. I don't see why I should even let myself keep the ability to reset, seeing as it's never done anyone much good. Besides, we're in a good timeline now, and I want to stay and see what happens after this.**

"IF WE DON'T LET THEM GET RID OF RESETS, SANS," Papyrus added. "YOU'LL HAVE TO GO ON KNOWING EVERY MOMENT YOU SPEND WITH US COULD BE... WORTHLESS. WE COULD FORGET EVERYTHING. I DON'T _WANT_ TO FORGET ANYTHING, SANS."

Undyne grinned. "I'm fuckin' ready! If something is hurtin' ya, Sans, and we've got the ability to stop it, then WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T WE?!" She screamed, summoning a spear. "Here ya go, Frisk."

They had all agreed. 

"Thanks for trying, kid," Sans finally said, smiling. "If it doesn't work I won't blame you."

Alphys looked hesitant, but nodded. "A-alright, Frisk. Er... s-shouldn't we bring Toriel h-here?"

Frisk quickly shook their head. ***Toriel would never agree. It's better if this way; if it works, I'll tell her, if it doesn't... she'll never have to know what was at risk. I'll still keep the memories I have with her.**

There was nothing else to say. 

Frisk breathed in, took the spear, and found themselves at the beginning. The glowing RESET button shone a few feet in front of them. 

 

\--

 

The moment Frisk went under, Sans felt like his insides were trying to crawl out. 

"Oh, fuck, shit- I don't want to go through another reset-" He gasped, clutching at his chest. If this went wrong, everything would be gone, everything he'd admitted, everything they'd done, and Chara could return-

"Calm d-down, Sans, it'll b-be alright! You need to calm d-down!" Alphys said, although she and Undyne were whispering things to each other, probably saying whatever they could before they forgot it.

Papyrus wrapped his arms around his brother, trying to comfort him. 

In all honesty, Papyrus was terrified. He had been terrified from the moment he'd overheard what Sans was wailing about to Alphys, he'd been terrified as he walked in and listened to his brother cry and sob and let out emotions he hadn't let out in years. He'd been terrified when Sans woke up screaming for the first time. 

Now, he was terrified that he'd forget. Just like that, it would all be gone, and he'd forget Sans was going through this and he would _forget_ Sans and of course, Sans would never tell him in whatever new timeline came next- and Papyrus would forget-

He didn't want to forget.

So he clutched at his brother and felt himself cry, too, because if this was the last time he held his brother with the knowledge that he now possessed-

If this was the last time he looked at Sans with his own eyes, and not another timeline's eyes-

If this went wrong and ended now-

Papyrus would scratch for as much time as he possibly could. 

"I love you, Sans," He whispered, barely audible. 

"Don't go," Sans choked out. 

"Tell me," Papyrus rasped, feeling his heart breaking as the moments passed. "Tell me, if it goes wrong, and I forget, tell me everything and I will try to understand, if I forget and we go back, tell me whatever I've forgotten- I promise, I'll always be there for you, no matter the timeline."

 

\--

 

Frisk looked at the RESET button for a long time.

It wasn't that they didn't want to destroy it. But the resets had been always been Plan B. If they made any mistakes, they just reset. 

Resets were the safety blankets. Without them, things could happen and then they'd have to live with that. If someone died of natural causes, they'd _stay dead forever_. If a genocide route went through and the reset button was destroyed, everyone would stay dead. 

So they looked at it. Frisk knew they'd destroy it eventually. They couldn't just leave it intact, when Sans was having a breakdown about it every day it went on. 

"C'mon... leave it alone," A voice drawled.

Frisk whirled around and met Chara's gleaming red eyes with a glare. ***Go away, now. Or I'll make you.**

Chara raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought you were into pacifism, all that shit."

 ***You try to possess me, I break it,** Frisk threatened, raising the spear so it was nearly touching the glowing words. 

Suddenly, the demon laughed. Angrily. "You think that's a good idea?!" Chara hissed. "Honestly, you really are an idiot. Giving up the little control you have? We're in this together, Frisk, it's just you and me. We're all we got."

***I have friends and family; you don't. I have _everyone_ , and you only have me.**

That struck a nerve, and Chara gritted their teeth. "I don't _need_ anyone, that's the difference. You rely on them. It makes you weak. Sure, you have determination. So do I, but I've got something called _independence_ , and with those two combined I am a god all on my own."

Frisk shook their head, looking tired and almost pitying. ***You aren't a god, Chara. You're a genocidal human who lost their life. You had your own timelines, but this is my timeline, and you can't get into it. You'll never have a timeline again, because you'll never have a body again.** They raised the spear to swing it.

Chara reached out, their face finally contorting into fear. "Wait! Okay, okay, Frisk, just stop and think for a minute, yeah? Just think! We could do whatever we wanted, and nobody could stop us, and- uh- we have all the power we could ever want, we could go anywhere, and change it in seconds! Don't break the only thing that keeps us powerful, Frisk, this is all we have!" 

*****No. It's all _you_ have, Chara. I break this, I have a life to live out. I have a mother to take care of me. I have amazing friends who love me and would do anything to protect me. I have a home in which monsters and humans can live together. I have an important job as the ambassador between humans and monsters. I have a home, and a bed to sleep in, and butterscotch-cinnamon pie to eat, and I have love, and not in a violent sort of way. I've got everything, and I don't need resets.** **

Frisk swung the spear. 

Chara leapt forward, hand outreached to stop the spear, to possess Frisk, to do _anything_ \- 

The spear hit the glowing RESET button, and it shattered. 

\-- 

Frisk came back to themselves, found themselves lying down on the floor. Undyne and Alphys were whispering quickly to one another, crying, wondering if they were about to be ripped apart. Undyne had a smile on her face, though, like she knew this would work. Alphys was trembling. 

Papyrus and Sans... 

Sans jumped when he felt the small hand land on his shoulder and looked up in awe. 

Undyne and Alphys gasped when they noticed Frisk, walking about. 

"You did it!" Undyne screamed, throwing a fist up in celebration. Alphys collapsed into her girlfriend's arms, weak with relief that everything had worked. At the scream, Papyrus looked up and promptly burst into joyful tears. 

"IT'S OVER- SANS- YOU'RE... THE TIMELINE... THIS IS OUR LIFE, NOW! NO MORE RESETS!" 

"No... n-no more resets?" Sans asked, shaking like a madman, barely daring to hope that it had worked. "It's over... it's over right, kid?" 

Frisk nodded proudly, smiling fondly at the skeleton who promptly broke out into a grin, though his legs were like jelly. 

"Oh, fuck, thank you, thank you, thank you-" Sans mumbled faintly, breathing in the smell of Papyrus's scarf. He wasn't alone. This was life, there would be no time-jumping, no more resetting, no more falling apart at the seams, no more... no more- immortality. 

"I don't want to die-" Sans choked out. "I want to _live_ , God- I want to live, I want to live with you, I want to- I _get_ to, thank you," 

Papyrus held him tight. "NO MORE SECOND CHANCES, SANS, SO WE MUST CONTINUE EATING SPAGHETTI AS IT IS OUR LAST TIMELINE TO DO SO!" 

Sans laughed, slightly hysterically, and hugged his brother and the kid close to his chest. "That's right, I'll eat as much spaghetti as I can, Paps. I'll help you cook, I'll.. god, I'm never wasting a day again." 

*****No more changing outcomes. It's time for me to live up to my actions and accept consequences.** **

"It's our last chance, kiddo," Sans agreed. "We better make this last timeline a good one." 

But looking around, seeing how happy everyone finally was- with no deaths, with no more fear, with smiling faces and joyful tears and spaghetti and a warm house and the sun shining down on the ground because they were on the surface- 

Sans figured this might be the best timeline so far. 

**Author's Note:**

> oh lawd I wrote this in five hours.
> 
> thank you for the puns: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=537274165  
> I'm not creative enough to come up with anything besides 'humerus'
> 
> sans's confession scene was honestly hard to write please tell me if anything in this fic made you feel dem feels 
> 
> FUN FACT: The title of this fic is the type species name for a species of 'Forget-Me-Not' flowers. (I woulda' named it Forget-Me-Not but I've already got a fic with that title, lol.)


End file.
